Alternative Lifestyles
This might seem strange to an outsider, but if you’re kinky…
… there are all sorts of things that are normal – even a part of your community:
The smell of the dungeon, with all its sounds and sights…
Whips cracking, floggers thudding, and paddles smacking against flesh…
Bodies writhing against carved crosses and spanking benches…
Bodies suspended from posts in rough rope…
Music carrying on despite the gasps of surprise and delight echoing throughout a darkened space…
A woman kneeling, hands cuffed, and eyes cast downward at the feet of her Dominant as he talks freely with others… absently caressing her hair…
A man entering on a leash, wearing a dog mask and making quiet puppy noises as he follows his master on his knees.
And if you’re practicing or considering ethical non-monogamy…
Imagine getting ready for a party with your partner, anticipation rich in the air. You put on daring attire and chat excitedly with your lover about what you hope might happen.
As you walk into the club, you are surrounded by like-minded, sexy people. You dance and mingle, laugh and flirt, searching for a connection for you and your partner.
Afterwards you each recount your experiences as you reconnect.
The “swingers’ parties” of the 70’s are gone; but with lifestyle cruises and resorts, upscale parties, and a variety of websites, many of today’s couples find swinging a fun and engaging alternative to monogamy.
The appeal of being authentic without judgment…
If you have an alternative lifestyle, you very well might have a completely different persona in your everyday life.
People you have known for years, from family to friends to coworkers, have no idea you are kinky or a swinger. Fears of losing your job, custody of the kids, or being shunned may keep you from showing your authentic self to anyone except a select few.
Co-workers accuse you of being in an abusive relationship, because of the marks from your last impact scene.
Friends call you controlling, because you give specific instructions to your submissive in their presence.
It can be difficult to build up a strong support system when an important part of your life is omitted in the narrative.
An alternative lifestyle may or may not be part of why you’re seeking therapy.
People in alternative lifestyles seek therapy for lots of reasons, some of which have nothing to do with their lifestyle.
Depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, divorce, grief… the list goes on. Even kinky people and swingers have struggles with their mental health at times.
However, while mental health issues are not part of your lifestyle, your lifestyle is part of you. Seeing a therapist who understands your authentic self helps to genuinely support you through your struggles and navigate the way to a happier you.
Having someone who understands you without judgment matters.
When being kinky is just who you are, why not see a therapist who understands the dynamics, protocols, and lifestyle?
Feel free to come to therapy wearing your collar. Refer to your partner as Sir. Ooze excitedly about your latest scene or that high-protocol dinner you just participated in. Share the burden of a Dominant and being responsible for your submissive. Most importantly, be the authentic you.
Why not see a therapist who supports ethical non-monogamy as a legitimate way of life?
I understand the struggles and intricacies of swinging and ways to support my clients to work through whatever issues arise so that they can enjoy their relationships and sexuality to the fullest.
In therapy we will explore why you are participating in (or just exploring) ethical non-monogamy. We will determine agreements and boundaries, as well as address any emotional needs that have to be met.
Struggling with jealousy? That’s okay! Jealousy is just a masking emotion. Together, we can uncover what really has you upset and address that underlying issue so that you feel compersion instead.
You’ve found the therapist who gets you. Why wait any longer?
Are you ready to take responsibility for your own happiness and personal growth? The next step is easy, because I am here and ready to help. You can do this.
Give me a call today. I offer a free 20-minute phone consultation. Let’s talk: (916) 715-3538.